At certain time in life, I discovered I was
doing certain things without understanding why I was doing those things. I realized
that there were some behaviours that did not please some of my friends, while
some of my conducts were inconsistent with whom I thought I was. What more,
even though several people admired my actions and display of talents, it was
clear to me that many of them would not want to be that close to me.
So I realized I needed to understand what
may be wrong with my behaviours. In understanding this, I realized I needed to
understand myself better. Who am I? What makes up my personality? Why do I
react or respond to issues the way I do?
This is absolutely necessary in planning to
keep a family, because family is about relationships. It begins with
relationship with parents, with siblings. Then it continues on relationship
with wife, with children, with in-laws, with family friends. What to understand
about self should range from Influences, Individual differences, personality,
character, temperament.
UNDERSTANDING
HUMAN INFLUENCES
Every human being is a product of two
influences: Genetic and Environmental influences.
Genetic influences are those
characteristics that are passed from parents to the child at birth. They are
also called hereditary characteristics. Biological heredity is therefore
defined as the transmission or transfer of traits or characteristics from one
generation to the next, through the process of reproduction.
Environmental influences have to do with
the experiences a child is exposed to after conception in the womb. Such events
that occur while the individual is in the womb or after birth contribute in
determining what a child would be. Other areas of environmental influence
include such factors as the maternal health and nutrition, birth experiences,
postnatal injury and disease, type of feeding, the type of family into which
the child is born, the type of school attended, the type of friends kept,
effect of place of upbringing, church, playground, climate, as well as geographical
location. These influences are referred to as nature and nurture respectively.
AREAS
OF INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
The understanding that heredity and
environment play significant roles in determining who someone becomes certainly
explains the reason every individual is unique. Human beings achieve uniqueness
from childhood as a result of a complex interplay between genetic and
environmental influences. The process of heredity ensures a unique genetic
blueprint for a child’s development. This is further promoted by environmental
forces that shape her personality. Basic areas of individual differences are:
§ Physical
Attributes: Sex, height, weight, age, colour of eyes, skin, hair, etc.
§ Cognitive
Functioning: Intellectual abilities and Cognitive style (intelligence level).
§ Personality
Characteristics: Self concept, aspirations and expectations, motivation, values
and attitudes, interests.
§ Temperament:
Manifestations of hereditary traits.
·
Character is the real you
·
The Bible calls it the hidden man of the
heart.
·
It is the result of your natural temperament,
modified by childhood training, education, basic attitudes, beliefs, principles
and motivations.
·
It is sometimes referred to as “the soul”
of man, which is made up of the mind, emotions and will.
·
Character is the result of accumulations of
habits developed overtime.
·
It can be summarized as our civilized
temperament.
·
Personality is the outward expression of
ourselves, which may or may not be the same as our character, depending on how
genuine we are.
·
It is a pleasing facade for an unpleasant
or weak character.
·
It is “acting a part on the basis of what
one thinks he should be or how one wants people to see him, rather than as he
really is.
·
Personality has to do with your moods,
attitudes, opinions, motivations and style of thinking, perceiving, speaking
and acting.
·
It is real only within the limits of an
individual’s genuineness.
·
It is the outward appearance within which
humans usually assess one another.
·
Personality is therefore the face we show
to others.
·
Temperament is the combination of inborn
traits that subconsciously affect man’s behaviour.
·
These traits are arranged genetically on
the basis of nationality, race, sex, and other hereditary factors.
·
They are passed on by genes.
·
The alignment of temperament traits is said
to be as unpredictable as the colour of eyes, hair or size of the body.
·
Temperament traits, whether controlled or
uncontrolled, last throughout life.
·
Many are successful in developing their
character and improving their personality, but comparatively few are able to
change their temperament.
FOUR MAIN TEMPERAMENT TYPES AND THEIR
BASIC CHARACTERISTICS
|
TEMPERAMENT
|
STRENGHTH
|
WEAKNESSES
|
|
SANGUINE
|
Outgoing;
Responsive;
Warm
and Friendly;
Talkative;
Enthusiastic;
Compassionate
|
Undisciplined;
Emotionally
unstable;
Unproductive;
Egocentric; Exaggerates
|
|
CHOLERIC
|
Strong-willed;
Independent;
Visionary;
Practical;
Productive;
Decisive;
Leader
|
Cold
& Unemotional;
Self-sufficient;
Impetuous;
Domineering;
Unforgiving; Sarcastic; Angry; Cruel
|
|
MELANCHOLY
|
Gifted;
Analytical;
Aesthetics;
Self- sacrificing; Industrious; Self-disciplined
|
Moody;
Self-centered;
Persecution-
prone
Revengeful;
Touchy
Theoretical;
Unsociable
Critical;
Negative
|
|
PHLEGMATIC
|
Calm;
Quiet; Easygoing;
Dependable;
Objective
Diplomatic;
Efficient
Organized;
Practical; Humorous
|
Unmotivated;
Procrastinator; Selfish; Stingy; Self-protective; Indecisive
Fearful;
Worrier.
|
You can take personality
tests online to enable you understand yourself better. For character
test, ask the people close to you about what they think of your character and
be honest to admit and change where necessary.
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