HOW TO PROTECT YOUR SEX LIFE

In the previous editions of this series, we considered things to protect your sex life from and reasons to protect your sex life. 

In this concluding edition, we will be considering how to protect your sex life in marriage. The intention is to further seek ways for married couple to be into each other so that nothing is able to distract from their love life and consequently their sex life.

Focus on Intimacy: Beyond what happens in the bedroom during sex, it is important that spouses focus on doing what pleases each other and brings them closer. Calls, text messaging, and chats saying nothing in particular, use of pet names, among others, should continue. These acts help couples remain close to each other, such that sex itself happens effortlessly when they are together.

Use Sex to Relieve Stress: Inasmuch as spouses may shy away from sex because of stress; it has been proven that sex itself can be a stress reliever.

Getting on with it when you feel stressed can be energizing as the hormones being secreted in the process calm the nerves. It is also proven that sex can lead to sleep. Therefore engaging in it for these purposes would ultimately work to your benefit and not allow anything be a distraction from it.

Use Lubrication: Sometimes the issues that seek to distract from sex, heighten stress levels and make it difficult for the woman’s body to be lubricated enough for sex. Couples should not shy away from using water based lubricants, to ensure success in this regard. Not doing it because the woman could not get wet, means allowing the situations that heightened the stress to win.

Use other times of the day: Spicing up your sex life by doing it at other times of the day apart from night, would help in reassuring each other of its importance. Nothing stops you from doing it in the morning or afternoon because no time of the day was exclusively designed for it. It should not appear as though other times of the day are for 'more serious' issues. Sex is as serious as any other thing in your marriage.

Flirt with your spouse: The hang outs during courtship can still come handy during marriage. Doing so reminds you how much you mean to each other beyond other concerns.

Talk in front of the Kids: This has to do with teasing each other in front of the kids without using inappropriate words. Call your spouse by their pet name before them; let them know he is your husband; she is your wife. So that when you seek to be alone with your spouse, they would get the message that both of you have something special between you.  

Enforce bedtime and other routines for the children: This would help you always create time for each other without letting the presence of the children be a distraction.

Don't sleep with the Kids: At certain age from about two years of age, couples should try as much as they can not to sleep with their kids. This would give room for non-restricted access to each other's body without the concern of the children seeing and knowing what happens.

Use Quickies: Quickies are short session sex that can happen between married couples without prior intention. In order to ensure that time for sex is not completely taken for other things, couples can adopt quickies for those moments when there is no much time for sex.

Swap Baby-sitting: The idea here is to leave you kids with someone who shares similar values as yours so that both spouses can have time alone, at home or outside the home. It means that the person would equally leave their kids with you for their own time out afterwards. This could be family member or close friend. 

Marriage calls for sacrifices. Spouses should be willing to make the sacrifices required to protect their sex life, which by extension, impacts on the marriage.