“Point
your kids in the right direction – when they‘re old they won’t be lost”
Proverbs 22:6 (MSG).
Can
you think of something you do today, that is part of what you picked from your
upbringing at home. Good or bad, everyone grows bearing some traits they picked
from their upbringing.
The
quote at the beginning of this article connotes the law of sowing and reaping.
Let’s take them in parts: “Point your kids”. This could also mean, ‘Invest in
your kids’; ‘inculcate in your kids’, ‘sow in your kids’, ‘attend to your
kids’; ‘model to your kids’; ‘teach your kids’; ‘show your kids’.
Before
we look at the next part of the quote, please observe that this puts the
responsibility on you and me. You it could have read, ‘please ensure your kids
are pointed…’. The duo of father and mother has the responsibility of investing
in the child what they want to see in the child in the future. Abdicating this
responsibility to the school, the church, the media, should be seriously
viewed.
The
next part is, ‘in the right direction’. This means that there are various
directions. Perhaps there is right direction, acceptable direction, wrong
direction, improper direction, proper direction, definite direction. When I
think of who determines the right direction, I conclude that it is the parents.
The
right direction should be determined by parents past experience, knowledge as
well as societal norms. The right direction I believe should begin with
character sets, parents model before the children as well as words spoken
before the children. These should be based on family’s chosen core values based
on parents understanding of the purpose of the family.
Right
direction should also include observable talent traits on the child, which the
parents should position him to develop. I believe it is better not to impose
parents desire of profession on the child, instead encourage the child to
develop skills that go with talents the child appear to be showing.
We
move to ‘when they’re old’. This shows that kids won’t remain kids.
Psychologists suggest that most traits are developed in a child by the time
they are seven years old. They advise that parents should endeavour to have
inculcated the most important values in their children as at seven years old.
Beyond age, there is a time of maturity, when a child transits from just being
a child to being a friend in the home.
At
this level, probably teenage, it is not advised that parents impose things on
the child; rather they negotiate, discuss and agree with them on what should be
done. Parents are then expected to explain reasons for doing things more than
ever before. At this time, the family is beginning to reap the fruit of the
earlier investment on the child, especially in terms of values.
Finally,
‘they won’t be lost’. This talks about two things: the kids won’t be lost and
the kids won’t lose the right direction. Looking at not losing the kids, we
ponder over the likely cause of many kids that have been lost from their homes
and families. Could it be that they did not have knowledge of the right
direction that would have kept them or they did but chose the other way.
On
the kids losing the direction, could it be that they were only taught about it,
but they never saw it modeled? Where is missing link? Why would someone who was
shown the right direction, lose it contrary to the quote we have considered on
this article.
Comparing
this quote with the law of sowing and reaping, we discover that between the
sowing time and reaping time is the weeding, tending, in some cases watering
time. There could even be pest control time, to ensure that there is bountiful
harvest.
In
the case of this quote, I believe that when a child has been taught right
values for the right direction, with modeling, what remains is praying and
being a trusted friend to him. Prayer gives room for God to handle issues the
parents and the child may not be aware of, while friendship would enable the
child to keep seeking counsel when they feel they are being derailed.
Talks
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