Several years ago, while
growing up, we once rushed to a mango tree one early morning after it had
rained the night before. Everyone’s desire was to pick fresh mango fruits that
may have fallen from the tree as a result of breeze that accompanied the rain.
Alas at the end of the
picking effort we were divided into three groups. The first group was those who
arrived much early and had time enough to pick good and fresh mango fruits.
The second group was a bit late and was still
able to pick fairly good ones.
The third group arrived
late and out of shame and not wanting to return empty, had to pick the
leftovers. Among the leftovers were fairly rotten but redeemable fruits, good
but injured fruits and half-ripped fruits.
The point here is that
everyone picked something; but not everyone picked of the desired quality.
Children are raised within
various kinds of circumstances: some are raised by both parents, who are
caring, loving and faithful. Others are raised by single parents who are caring
and loving; yet some are raised by either both or single parents that are
neither caring, loving nor faithful. Certainly there is no way such children
would have picked the same quality of values from their upbringing.
I was raised in polygamous
home. Both parents were there till my teenage when daddy left us. The better
part is that when they were there, every child belonged to every mother and
daddy was there for everyone, such that when he left, it was not difficult to
continue with the values he laid down for the family.
Today as a dad, I can talk
about what positive values I picked from my upbringing. One that is glaring to
everyone of us is togetherness. In a family of one husband and four wives,
where everyone eats from the same pot till date, it is difficult to get me not
to run a united home with my one wife as it is today.
Spirituality is another
value I picked from my upbringing. We were not only always in church, serving
in one way or the other, we practiced same at home, learning the scriptures, memorizing
and reciting them. We knew that prayer was a way we could not do without and
that God’s standards in the scriptures were the right way to live.
These seeds at the early
days of my life have been sustained, even in the midst of challenges, such that
each time the pressure to do it wrong was so strong, I remembered that if mama
gets to hear this, she would wonder if that was what she modeled.
I believe that today’s
Nigeria lacks good models in the public life. The only way to redeem the
situation is to work on families.
What did you pick from
your upbringing? Pleasant or sour, can you share it here for someone’s good? Perhaps
you are struggling to wriggle out of a negative one; someone here may have an advice.
Mail us your story on nwanduike@gmail.com and we will publish
it for others to read, learn and emulate. If you need advice, we will ensure
you get quality advice.
Talks
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