RE-ORGANIZE YOUR SEXUALITY

Sexual perversion has to do with applying sexuality the wrong way. It has to do with applying human sexuality the way it was not proper to apply it. When someone discovers that they have perverted sexuality, what remains is for them to re-organize their sexuality and stick to using their sexuality the way God had designed it to be. I had mentioned in one of the posts in this series that I was ones drawn to homosexual tendencies, but had been delivered from it by superior knowledge.  It was like discovering that you are veering off a track and retracing your steps to the proper track. Re-organizing your sexuality, must be a deliberate action.

The beginning step to re-organizing human sexuality is acknowledging the perversion. Perversion of any kind thrives in denial. When you agree with yourself that something is wrong with the application of your sexuality, then you are on course towards re-organizing your sexuality. Acknowledging is the same as telling yourself the truth in your heart. It is often easier to tell others the truth about themselves, and project yourself as pious and decent. Telling yourself the truth in your heart helps you to apply your thinking towards personal liberation. Acknowledging a problem is the beginning of the solution to the problem.

When you acknowledge the problem, the next thing to do is not to explain it away, justify it and continue in it; the next thing to do is to confront it. This has to do with facing up with it, oppose it in your heart and show hatred for it. I have learnt in dealing with wrong things in my life that whatever I enjoy, I will not be able to stop, so in order to stop something wrong, I hate it deliberately to the point of disgust. When something becomes distasteful, you vomit it or spit it out. How would you prove that you have truly accepted the need to change from any form of perversion, if you do not out rightly consider such a thing as disgusting?  

Seeing it as disgusting should awaken your inborn sense of decency. The reactivation of your sense of decency in that aspect should then lead you to the question, how did I start this? Oftentimes this is the major doorway to retraction. Something definitely changed in you before you got into that perversion; what was it? There is need for serious soul-searching at this time and deep thought, to discover where you missed it. Then you would get a clue towards possible retraction route. Another reason for the question is to know how deep you may have gone into the perversion. Because you would trace the origin, you can also trace the route and distance already travelled. You can also trace the force behind it. The force behind it may even be different from the force that began it. For instance, a perversion may have started as an adventure, at the time of soul-searching it may have become a habit sustained by passion.

At this point, you need to open up to someone you can trust. There is a saying that a problem shared is a problem half solved. It has to be someone you can trust, because you don’t want your story heard where you did not bargain, after all, everyone had an issue at one point or the other in their lifetime. It should also be someone who can rebuke and counsel you, without condemning you. If you are married, you may consider your spouse if you think she/he can carry it and depending on the nature of the pervert. Else seek a matured spiritual person whom you respect and who is respectable. Confessing to this person should give you a relief and help you begin to develop confidence towards stopping. Take the person’s counsel and possible instructions.

If you had a partner in this perversion, you must consider staying away from the person at this point. If you have a spot where you normally meet, avoid that place from now. The reason for this is to begin working on how to delete the files of the various events from your memory (hard disk). This should be part of the discipline you need to develop alongside carrying on any instruction you may have been given. In my case I was asked to buy a particular book, which I did and while reading it, saw exactly what I was going through and how to fight it and avoid it. Keeping to instructions helps you develop such personal discipline you did not pay attention to earlier.

At this point, if you have a partner the person may be upset with your excuses for not showing up. Arrange a meeting at a public place and let the person know what has happened to you. This may also be part of what you may have discussed with your counselor. Whichever way, you need to openly let the person know your decision and reasons for that. An open public place is advised because if it is in the home of any of you, you may end that meeting that day by a round of sex. It has to be at a place where there would be no room for that option. Depending on how you arrange it, you may not have to see each other out of the place. As the person struggles to digest the news, you could excuse him and leave.

The absolute re-organization of your sexuality takes place in your mind, because the mind is said to be the most important sex organ. This is only most effective when it is done by your creator and the creator of your sexuality. Returning you to your original state is the work of your creator and the giver of sex. So, go to him in prayer. Your counselor may lead you in this prayer, but the most important prayer is the one you do yourself to your maker in sincerity of heart and purpose. Your prayer should be two–fold, that God should take over and run your life and that He should deliver you from present predicament. This should be the climax, because when your maker takes over, he would re-organize your life the way he made it to be. He will give you a new mind and wipe your record clean.

I must admit however that completely stopping would take awhile.  Depending on the nature of your pervert, you may find yourself wanting to return several times. You must fight it at thought level. Engage in personal confession about who you are and enforce it in your world. It is a fight, I know you will win.