When I began dating my wife, the first set of questions she asked me,
included what my core values were. I was quick to list them because I already
had them. She later shared hers with me and we both realised that there are
more similarities than differences. No wonder we are happily married today.
Most times, core values are thought to belong to organisations, hence
employees are made to internalise the values as well as carry on their official
responsibilities in line with them. Companies try as much as they can to show
the staff and their customers that the company believes and indeed functions in
line with the core values. Yet even the individual staff needs to ensure that
the company’s core values are in line with their individual core values.
Values
are those deep seated beliefs and convictions
that guide what we do. So core values are those values that guide our
choices and decision making. They are not taught, rather they are well thought
through beliefs which one practices. Much like company core values, personal core values are there to
guide behaviours and choices. When we get them right we will be swift and focused
in our decision-making, with clear direction. When we get them wrong or leave
them ambiguous, we will constantly wonder how we got into the challenges we
face.
Without personal core values, individuals are easily swayed by
other people’s views and are not able to make decisions based on personal
convictions. Most people believe they have personal core values; however it is
only when they are written down and tested through decision making that we are
sure we have personal core values.
Although one’s personal core values may not exactly match anyone
else's, they still help to determine the person’s surrounding culture. Hence
most smart people consciously
or unconsciously use personal core values to select friendships, relationships
and business partnerships. Personal core values also help to wisely manage
personal resources such as time and money.
With personal core values, anyone can easily refuse to align
themselves with any relationship whose core values are not in line with theirs.
They would not spend their money and time on things that are not in line with
their core values, but would seek to promote ideas and activities that are in
line with the chosen personal core values.
Personal core values may include: Truth, Accountability,
Fairness, Diligence, Determination, Love, Family, Fun, Impact, Creativity,
Consistency, Innovation, Excellence, Openness, Respect, and much more.
To generate your own core values, write down your areas of most
accomplishments and failures; write down your areas of high efficiency and
inefficiencies; also write down the rules you identify to have observed in
carrying out most of your dealings. From these things written down, Kevin Daum
advises that you identify
three or four brief sentences of advice you would give to yourself.
Then
try and reduce them to a few words. For example: If your advice is: "Don't
overindulge in food and booze at parties and get in trouble," reduce that
down to Keep
Control through Moderation, or even Moderation.
Now
you need to test the value. Think of a situation where following your core
value hurts you rather than helps you. For example you might think Innovation sounds good until you realize that
your life thrives on stability rather than constant change. You have to think
it through carefully. If you can't identify a legitimate case where the value
steers you wrong, you probably have a good core value.
Know
that this process requires focused time and thought. It may require several
discussions with someone you trust over weeks or even months. Your values may
adjust and develop over time just as you do, so embrace the change.
"Your
beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words
become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your
values. Your values become your
destiny." Mahatma Ghandi
Just
imagine that I did not have personal core values at the time I met my wife!
Talks
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