About nine years ago as an undergraduate, I
visited a privately owned students’ hostel, while searching for a fellow
student’s residence in that area. At first it appeared as though there was no
one in the building, but as I moved closer I heard someone’s voice, then I
moved through the corridor to the back yard, calling for a response and got
one. I then saw that there was another building which was the students’ hostel.
What I saw of the students however was unexpected.
At the open space between the two buildings
was a well of water, a male student was standing by it about to draw water
stark naked, while behind him was the room, door wide open and another male
student and female student chatting in it. My surprise was that the student by
the well was bold to respond to my request confirming that someone was there
without seeing if I was male or female. He was not also in a hurry to attend to
my enquiries when I eventually saw him and made no attempt to cover his
obviously erect organ. Perhaps he was free because I am fellow male, but there
was a female in the room behind him with door wide open and from which I
presume he went to the well.
I left the place wondering if they were
shooting a pornographic movie in that apartment that day. I could not imagine
the reason behind that scene because I knew the students and that none of the
two males were married to the lady. Could it be that I was the old fashioned
person, thinking that such scenes could only be for husband and wife within
their apartment, when no one else was there? How exposed should the ‘private
parts’ be to others especially of the opposite sex outside marriage? I believe
that people protect what they value from possible intruders and only flaunt it
before their friends. If they are private parts, they should be exposed in the
private to the private person, which is when they retain their honour.
With the story above in mind, I see a
recent trend in the way people expose themselves in Africa, that I am not sure
was there before now. Granted that prostitution is said to be the oldest
profession ever; I also know that people have been engaging in pre-marital
sexual relations for a long time, however the trend of recording the act and
uploading it online is something I fail to comprehend. I have always thought
that such video clips online would be of pornographic movie trailers, however
as I searched through blogs owned by Nigerians (when I was about to start
blogging) I saw several of such clips from within Nigeria and neighbouring
countries. Are these people thinking that it is a sign of advancement to show
the world their sexual acts?
Perhaps they are trying to emulate porn
actors and actresses. Do they realize that for the porn actors and actresses,
man is merely an animal that could perform in any way they like? I know that a
typical African would not subscribe to that assertion, why then engage in acts
capable of positioning you as someone in that school of thought. Human sexuality
should be sacred and be so treated because man is made in God’s image and has a
spirit and soul, which animals do not have. All animals’ body parts are subtly
exposed, because they do not put on dresses to cover their body. They can
perform any acts in the open because that is their nature. It is not so with
humans.
I have heard that many of these porn actors
and actresses use drug to enhance the size of their body parts and their
performances, yet some people want to emulate their styles. I hear that some
people encourage married spouses to watch such movies to learn styles and see
how they can make their bedroom plays more worthwhile. My question is, if those
styles were invented by humans, why not couples sit down and innovate? Why must
they watch what some people who have less regard for sanity invented?
Some people say that they use what they have to get what they need when they engage in prostitution. Also some people in authority to employ people or score them in examination ask them to engage in sexual relations with them as condition for to get what is rightfully theirs. This is simply a misuse of the body parts and a misapplication of authority.
It has also been said that some married
women withhold sexual relations from their husbands as a way of getting them to
respond to certain needs. This is not right; sexual relations with one’s spouse
should not be tied to provision of needs in the home. It is for the
satisfaction of both spouses, and none should use it as a weapon of punishment
nor only give it as a reward.
My encouragement here is that we must
organize our lives and help our children organize their own early enough on
matters of human sexuality. Humans are not mere animals and should not be
reduced to same on sexuality.
Talks
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