I didn’t set out to write on this subject, but a discussion with a close
friend on it formed the content of this article. I asked my friend what he
thinks about exaggeration and lies to find out if he thought it was okay for
someone especially a Christian to exaggerate without saying so. Is the person
not telling a lie? I ask this because I hear some things from some people.
Within me I feel it is not entirely true but if the person didn't tell me it
was exaggerated, I'm left wondering why the person is trying to hype it.
In
response, he tells me that he finds himself
feeling guilty when he exaggerates things, so he thinks it’s wrong when you
make things appear larger or smaller than they are, except you tell people
‘this is exaggerated’.
I then asked: WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE
EXAGGERATE?
‘It’s more
like deceit’, he says, ‘so people can believe you even though deep down in
you, you know it’s not true; you just
want to sell your story or position’, ‘Deliver me, O Lord, from lying
lips, from a deceitful tongue’. Ps 120:2, he added.
My views: I also think it has something to do
with pride and low or negative self-esteem. People thinking of themselves more
highly than they ought to (Romans 12:3) and people thinking that they need to
increase their worth because they believe that people see them to be lower than
they are. All that for me is about walking in the flesh. If we develop closer
walk with the Holy Spirit, we are led daily to be open and transparent no
matter what the situation is.
I also believe that exaggeration may be a character flaw that was not
checked until it blossomed. Sometimes as younger people one tended to hype
their actions before their peers without knowing where to draw the line. If it
becomes a habit and the person grows with it, it turns to be a negative
character. It could mar relationships even at home and among friends because it
means that the person cannot be trusted. Character change demands deliberate
effort on the part of the person involved and the major change is in walking
with the Holy Spirit and imbibing the fruit (Galatians 5:22,23)
Another angle to this is beating around an issue instead of going
straight to the point. I guess in a bid to make it sound the way the person
believes it should, they begin to look for other ways to express themselves
without realising that they are actually saying something that contrasts the
point they are supposed to be making. When a husband exaggerates
issues to the wife or wife to the husband; what do they think would be the
result in the children they raise?
Thinking
about courtship and certain things guys tend to say or do to convince a lady to
marry them, could it be that later marriage challenges are a result of exaggerations
the man is not able to measure up with?
Thinking
about relationship between parents and children, could it be that some
children's disenchantment towards their parents is a result of certain
exaggerations which the children later realised the truth and therefore not
able to trust the parents anymore? At workplace, it could reduce trust among
employees as well as between employers and employees, between supervisors and
subordinates.
‘Very true, Exaggeration leads to
distrust among people’ he concurs. ‘Just like when you know someone keeps
doing that anytime you guys meet,’ he continues, ‘you just assume almost on the
spot before your next meeting that he will be coming to feed you with
lies, because you know in your heart that it’s not true’.
Next
question is: How to rebuild lost trust
My
Friend: ‘Repent! With repent, I mean you need to change that attitude:
Renew your mind with the word of God,
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you,
Build your self-esteem, and be deliberate
about saying things as they are.
Give a true representation; don't try to impress people,
Don't strive for perfection,
Celebrate the small stuff you have,
Focus on the things you can transform
or change,
Most times because people want to be
seen as being perfect without flaws they exaggerate both themselves
and things, because they are trying to impress people they exaggerate, so
that the people will say wow; Because they don’t enjoy what they do they will
always have mistakes, so they exaggerate in order to
cover their flaws; Because they don’t celebrate the little they have they tend
to compare themselves with others they exaggerate; Continuous
positive talk is also very important’.
We
also agree that in all these actions, consistency is very important. Consistency
in doing the right things will restore people’s confidence and gradually
rebuild trust.
Talks
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