WHAT MARRIED MEN AND WOMEN CHERISH ABOUT SEX

Recently some of my readers suggested certain topics I should write on. Among the topics suggested is ‘what men and women find charming during sex’. In order to ensure a proper connection with the objectives of this blog, I had to recast it to read: What married men and women cherish about sex. I have also gone ahead to interview some married men and women in order to ensure that what I share with you is authentic.

The responses I got vary and I am thankful that most of my respondents agreed to share their views. Therefore what I will be sharing in this article is based on those responses. The essence of this article is to remind married couples that their spouses define satisfaction in various ways. Interestingly most of the responses are about what the other spouse does. This implies that what each person does per time during sex determines to a large extent how much satisfaction the other spouse gets from lovemaking. I would suggest that couples should discuss about what they like per time and ensure to go by that.

The respondents are married individuals who are less than 10 years in marriage and people who are committed to their spouses.

Foreplay: This includes everything that happens before the intercourse starts. It includes kissing, talking, fondling, cuddling, among others. Interestingly both men and women agree that they cherish foreplay. Most were specific about what they cherish in foreplay. Find out what your spouse cherishes about foreplay and do more of that next time.

When the woman initiates: This is one aspect that I believe may be general for most young couples. The man is often known to want sex; so when the woman initiates it, it turns the man on the more. My male respondents say they cherish it and I agree with that. If you still find it odd to have your wife initiate sex, you need to have a re-think. They equally need it as much as men do; it is the environment and certain religious and cultural inhibitions that restrict many of them. Ensure to create the right atmosphere that would encourage your wife to initiate sex and you will be better for it. When you combine the number of times each of you initiates it, that would be more opportunity for it to happen. If as a man you insist in being the only initiator, you may be shortchanging yourself.

Thrusting pattern: Men say they cherish the thrusting part of sex; women say they cherish specific patterns of the thrusting. It is often advised that men do not just bump in and out but ensure they use certain pattern while thrusting. My findings show that that is important. It also shows that women do not really want it rough. Some do, but most cherish it soft. So dear married man, don’t just thrust, do it with style and soft for the pleasure of your woman.

Specific styles: Among the numerous styles in sex; some of my respondents say they cherish certain specific styles. Interestingly this response also cuts across men and women. Some of them told me why they cherish the styles they cherish and these have to do with what the other spouse does. So before you start switching from one style to the other, it may be necessary to find out what your spouse likes and why they like it, so that you play by the rules.

Beyond precreation, sex was designed to provide pleasure for married couples. It is important that every couple knows what gives each of them pleasure and do same. Marriage is for life and therefore sex is for life between every married couple. Don’t be in a hurry or insist in having your way concerning what you cherish, if your spouse is yet to agree with it. Work with him or her, and be patient. Next time you make love to your spouse, ensure you do it to his and her pleasure.