In the previous
article, I explained why couples lose the early spark that comes with early
days of marriage. I offered the reasons behind those changes that happen after
those early days. This article will consider
how couples can overcome the season of sudden change and live continually in
the spark of the honeymoon season?
Cultivate Romance to Maintain Chemistry: During courtship, couples found ways of remaining
connected and that helped them maintain attraction. This should be continued in
marriage. Don’t end the calls; don’t stop sharing those messages; keep showing
those surprises. All these count in maintaining the spark during marriage.
Cherish the Qualities in Who You Married: Whatever physical, emotional, intellectual qualities
that made you choose your spouse has not changed. Remain focused on who you
married. Don’t begin to wish that those qualities were different; if those
things change, you won’t like what you would get. However if there is physical
change in weight, contrary to what you admired in the person initially; work
with the person to manage it. It should not become a reason for
misunderstanding.
Understand That You Are Different: Part of what couples desire at this point is to
change the other person to be like them. This is not necessary; you are two
different people and cannot be the same. Acknowledge your differences and turn
them into strengths for the good of your marriage. Those were the bases of your
initial attraction to each other.
Realise That You Are Not Perfect: As realities set in in marriage, couples complain of
each other’s weaknesses. These weaknesses have been there but were not
complained about. It is important that couples realise that both of them are
not perfect, but work in progress. Each spouse should see their areas of strength
as complementing the other spouse’s areas of weaknesses.
Lower Your Expectations: It is natural that someone would hope that marriage will result in certain things they have been expecting. Whereas this is not wrong, it is advisable to lower certain expectations to avoid the feeling of disappointment if they are not met. It is better to lower an expectation and have it met, than keep it high and feel disappointed in the end.
Cultivate Trust Through Communication: Relationships are sustained on mutual trust.
Communication is the major tool that helps in developing trust. Communication facilitates
openness and transparency. When this is in place, couples are able to overcome
most challenges in their relationship.
Turn Your Personal Values To Family Values: There are certain values that are unique about each
of you. Write them down and turn them into your family values. Remind each
other about them and cultivate them as your family grows.
Maintain Your Walk With God: Marriage is an institution established by God
himself. You cannot effectively run it outside His precepts, especially when
you already have a relationship with Him. Ensure you maintain that relationship
through prayers and study of God’s word. There is no challenge you cannot
overcome. Involve Him in your daily decisions and allow Him lead you. He gave
you the spark in the beginning; let Him help you maintain it.
I believe that this edition has been a blessing to someone. Your
comments are appreciated.
Talks
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