INVEST IN THE PARENTING OF YOUR CHILDREN

Parenting is all the thoughts, actions and activities involved in promoting and supporting the spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual development of a child, from infancy to adulthood. It is usually easier to believe that what is required in parenting is providing financial support for the children. Therefore as parents engage themselves with work and businesses, they strive to ensure that funds are available to engage domestic helps and nannies, pay school fees, pay for private lessons, among other things.

While these things are good in themselves, this articles looks beyond providing funds for a child's upbringing. It focuses on how parents need to be more directly involved in the children upbringing. The article recognizes that the task of providing for the family puts pressure on the parents to work and raise funds, yet the task of having a healthy marriage and family life also puts a responsibility on the couple to ensure proper parenting of their children.

Establish a family vision: At the inception of a marriage, it is important that a couple defines the kind of family they want to have. That vision is the future they see for their family. It should be an off shoot of your individual purpose. Vision would help decide on the number of children to have, the kind of school or schooling they would attend, as well as parents’ level of involvement in their upbringing.

Establish family core values:  Values are the things most important to you. So establishing family core values would require choosing those characters and interests that are most important for you as a family. One’s values determine the kind of friends they keep, it determines the kind of places they visit, their fashion. For example, my family core values are: Spirituality, Love, Integrity, Excellence, Accountability, Diligence and Discipline. These help in maintaining focus towards the family vision.

Communicate the family vision and values: As soon as you have a child, begin talking about the vision and values to the child. Use various means of communication, including playing songs that depict what you want to communicate. As they grow older share it with them in writing and explain the implications.

Adopt intentional parenting: This is about being deliberate concerning everything involving the children. It does not necessarily apply to only those who work from home by directly taking care of the children. It involves being deliberate in any decision and action concerning the children. For example, in the choice of school; in level exposure to screen, including television, smart phones, among others at a certain age.

Model what you expect: It is expected that parents teach and instruct their children on various issues. Yet modeling what is expected of the children helps them learn quicker and apply more correctly. Don't do what you don’t want them to do. Be disciplined not to do something different from what you earlier communicated about an issue.

Be mindful not to overrule each other: This has to with both parents speaking as one on issues with their children. If a father gives an instruction, the mother should not simply change it and vice versa. If one realizes that there is something wrong with the instruction, it is better to simply halt the implementation without changing it. Then speak with the other person for more clarity or possibly give reasons why the initial one was deficient. The person who gave the initial instruction should be the one to change it or the other one changes it, indicating that they have the other person's consent to do so. This way the children respect your oneness and not prefer one person above the other.

Serve the children: Be willing to help them do what they should ordinarily do themselves. If they ask you to help them with something, please do it. This way you teach them mutual responsibility towards one another and by extension, leadership.

Read for the Children: Reading is a skill and habit that is important for everyone. It is however often difficult to develop and easy to lose, especially in the age of smart phones and availability of video contents on digital devices. Reading for children from infancy would help develop them mentally as well as help develop the right attitude to reading.

Pray and study the word of God with the Children: Helping the children develop spiritually begins with praying and studying the word of God with them. Over time they would learn to do these themselves such that you may not necessarily have to be with them for that to happen. It also means that you need to develop yourself in these areas, because they would need answers to many questions they may have.

Be available for them: This has to do with creating time to play with them, respond to their questions and find out how they feel about issues. Don't keep telling them that you are busy whenever they come around. It pays to make time for them as they grow, so that they become your friend when they are teenagers and adults.

The task of parenting requires investment in finance, time, energy, patience among other resources. Investing in the children promises a harvest you will be proud of. Beyond the finances, you are the greatest investment they need. Make yourself available.